Virtual Mail Bag

I know you readers are out there, I can hear you clicking. But apparently no one has time to ask questions or send me an email asking for advice. Good thing I can read your minds.

Q. You mentioned having lovebird eggs in a nest box. How long until the chicks hatch?
A. This is a great question! Usually it will take 2 weeks, so sometime next week I will be listenting for the chirps of the babies. I will get more food to the parents and keep their water super full. Greens and pasta will be added to the seed. The chicks will be pulled at 2 to 3 weeks and hand fed. It takes a few months for them to be weaned, but I expect to have them ready to sell by the winter holidays.

Q. Do you have a favorite video of parrots singing?
A. What an oddly specific question. But yes, I do.

Q. How can the endangered kakapo parrot help save an endangered plant?
A. Well, when a mama kakapo and a papa kakapo love each other very much, they wander through the forrest at night and get pollen all over their faces. Here, this explains it better.

Q. What have you got against cockatoos, you heartless witch?
A. I love cockatoos, from a distance. No one has told these parrots that humans’ ears are more sensitive than theirs, that we don’t have feathers protecting our skin from bites, and that we rather like the wood cabinets in their original state, no modification is needed. They don’t get it that when a human walks out the door in the morning, the same human will be back to love and feed the bird eventually, and not really all that long a time away. Here, this explains a lot of what I am trying to say, and is a warning to normal people who want a love sponge parrot.

Q. What would you do if your fans said they were tired of hearing about Maynard, your Double Yellow Headed Amazon?
A. Cry. And stop posting about him. Except when absolutely necessary. Like to tell you how cute he is when he gets a red jar lid like from peanut butter, and clucks to it. He waves it around, too, like he has no idea how it got into his talons. I will miss the warmer weather when I can shower with him and not have to torture him afterward with the blow dryer. He has to share my yogurt every night. Still not that fond of blueberries, but my oatmeal is a rare treat to him.

Q. You write romance novels, why don’t you write books about birds?
A. People buy books about birds to find out some facts, like which diseases to look out for, how to build an aviary, or which species of parrot will fit into their homes and/or life styles. I would be bored to tears to write about those subjects. Romance novels have interesting characters, a plot of some sort, and usually supporting characters. People who buy romance novels are looking for escapism and entertainment. I am pretty good at those things. However, I have written a short story that features parrots who share an apartment in La Jolla with a rich surfer dude. Someday it might become a full story, but not just yet.

Q. How’s the retirement process going?
A. Better than expected. Had such good news! I will be wrapping up my career as a part time writer on October 30, 2014. I will begin my career as a full time writer on October 31, 2014. Wait, what has this got to do with parrots?

Q. I get to ask the questions, not you!
A. You know what? We’re done here. I’ll be back on Thursday.


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