Lies I told Myself

When I worked a very stressful, 40 plus hours per week job, I told myself many lies. I am coming to grips with the truth of those lies slowly. Which means I am giving myself times out and punishments like crazy.

Lie #1: Once I stopped working, I would feed my birds more fresh vegetables, fruits, and cooked meals like quinoa and soaks. Because I would have time to make the food every day. So far I cooked once in the three months I have been retired. My punishment? I can’t have any more hookbills until I make this happen. No. More. Birds. 

Lie #2: When I retired, I would hand feed all the chicks from my breeders. I will bond with these babies and sell them as really well socialized pets. I fed two lovebirds and two cockatiels. I hated it. I was tied to their schedule, I almost had to miss a writers meeting, and the lovebirds sold but I still have one of the cockatiels. The other cockatiel died unexpectedly, and I have been beating myself up over it repeatedly. My punishment? The three lovebird chicks in the nest were given to a friend who agreed to handfeed them. I agreed to watch her birds for six months over the summer. 

Lie #3: With so much time on my hands, I will keep all the cages clean. Well, I am at 50% on this one. The bird room cages haven’t been cleaned yet, and the unexpected rain in California is hampering my efforts. But the living room cages are clean, even hosed down in the warmer spells. So my punishment is to keep cleaning. I can live with that.

Lie #4: Lots of extra out time for the birds. My goodness. In the summer, we couldn’t let them out because we needed the ceiling fans to stay on. (See above, California) And if Maynard is out, no other birds can be out. He will attack and injure, if not kill, the intruder into his world. Jake has tried to attack Maynard, and even though I give them separate out times, Jake has started going on top of Maynard’s cage to taunt him. My punishment for this is not getting to have the cockatiels, lovebirds, or conures flying around the house in beautiful flocks, having a good time and looking for something to poop on. Okay, maybe that’s not as bad a punishment as I thought.

Why did I tell myself all these lies before I retired? I think the problem is that my house doesn’t just have junk drawers. We have a junk room, a junk desk, a junk garage, and a junk side yard. There are many cleaning issues that haven’t been properly addressed in years. If the house started out clean and organized, I believe I would be able to keep on top of all those issues above. Or am I just telling myself another lie?

Thanks for reading. I’ll be back on Sunday.

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